Serenity at 40

     Well, it's official.  I'm 40 now.  Turning 40 has been bittersweet.  The sweet was really sweet, and the bitter, bitter.  A month or so ago I had my follow-up appointment with the Diabetic Nurse, whom I've nicknamed "The Executioner".  While my weight and girth had decreased since my last visit, and my blood sugars were optimal, my cholesterol and blood pressure were still too high.  Six months ago I received her praise for managing to bring my cholesterol levels down from 4.55 to 3.29, but it had gone back up to 3.43.  My blood pressure that day was higher than 6 months ago.  Last time she told me that drinking more water could bring the diastolic number down which seemed to have worked, only the day of my appointment I felt somewhat dehydrated - not to mention super nervous about the results that were to be bestowed upon me.   I even backed up with photographic evidence great blood pressure readings taken at the pharmacy.  Then end result was she booked me in for a months time to reevaluate my blood pressure and if not improved she will put me on medication.  When asked about why my cholesterol spiked a bit, the only answer I could fathom was the increased consumption of cheese (with fig butter - my new fave!) poolside during the summer.  There may also have been an element of invincibility rewarding myself for having done so well bringing the numbers down initially.  So I've been given a month to improve blood pressure and another 6 months to reevaluate the cholesterol issue.  She thinks that I may have succeeded in doing all that I can to bring my numbers down and that the rest I can't do anything about - it's simply genetics - it's in my DNA.

I left the office feeling defeated, deflated and depressed.  Six months earlier I left that office in tears, but they were tears of joy and pride that I was able to make a difference and improve my situation.  That day, I once more left the office in tears, because I hadn't done enough and it looks like I will need to take medications after all.  While I sat weeping in the car, I confess that all I could think of was wanting to inhale a gooey donut or cupcake - what difference would it make now anyways, right?  I called John and he set me straight, reminding me of all the progress I've made and that I did manage to fulfill my wish set out at the beginning of this.  It was my hope that I could at least hit 40 without having to take such medications, and at that point it was only a couple of weeks away and that wish would come true.

On a positive note, I realized how lucky I am to have such wonderful friends and family who genuinely care about me.  They lifted me up when I was down.  Carla and Steve along with John, hosted a grand surprise 40th birthday party for me a couple of weeks before my birthday.  It was so much fun and they really did surprise me - which is funny, because I thought they were up to something and then they threw me off the scent the day of and still managed to surprise me!

My birthday just seemed to get better as my daughter Kristen and I boarded a flight to Dublin, Ireland!  Dublin is my absolute favourite place to be, and where I wanted more than anything to celebrate the big 4-0 milestone!  This was Kristen's first time in Ireland and my 6th.  We had the best time!  I've been so many times and yet there is still so much I want to see that I haven't yet -and that's just in Dublin!!  Those of you who know me well know that in addition to being a Colin Firth fan, I am also a huge U2 fan!  I showed Kristen all the famous U2 landmarks - we even went to Bono's house!  We met the most extraordinary gentleman on the beach behind the house.  He was collecting what looked like seaweed from the shore.  We went over to talk to him and asked what he was gathering.  His name is John McKenna, a famous jeweller and sculptor (Frank Sinatra, Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev all had pieces of his work).  He's very knowledgeable about the history of Dublin and the Vikings (we got quite the history lesson that's for sure!).  Anyways, the stuff he was gathering was called dulse.  McKenna has been ill for a couple of years and he uses the dulse to improve his health.  Dulse, it turns out is very good for you.  It's loaded with vitamins and minerals, fibre and protein.  It helps heal the digestive system and liver and cleanses the body; increases metabolism; and is high in iodine which is beneficial for the thyroid.  He helped us collect some and I brought some home with me to try out someday!  I'll let you know how it turns out!

Other highlights of the trip were meeting the cast of Mrs. Brown's Boys!!!  Totally unplanned and we definitely had the luck of the Irish behind us!!  If you haven't seen this show I highly recommend it-it'll have you stitches it's so funny!

 Lastly, my birthday gift to myself, was a photo shoot with Peter Rowen (remember the boy on the cover of U2's War album?  That's him!)  His work is superb and Kristen and I both enjoyed meeting him!

 

While we were in Ireland, I called home on the Saturday and found out that my dad had had a heart attack and was in a coma.  Kristen and I were traipsing all over Dublin making wonderful memories while my dad lay immobilized on a hospital bed.  When John and the boys picked us up at the airport we drove directly to the hospital in Woodstock.  By this time, Dad was out of the coma and awaiting more tests.  All my worries about having to take medication for blood pressure and/or cholesterol ended when I saw my dad lying there with tubes attached in various places!  A couple of weeks ago, he underwent a quadruple bypass surgery and I'm happy to report that he is now home after spending 32 days in hospital.  He was given another chance and a new lease on life and will be making some lifestyle changes so he can be with us even longer!!!  Some of us aren't that lucky!

My eating habits have been less than stellar as I tried to get down to visit my dad every other day or so (he's an hour's drive away) after work.  Everywhere you turn there is a Tim Horton's in Canada and almost every visit I would stop for a French Vanilla Cappuccino and a doughnut - not the best foods to consume on the Colin Firth Diet!!  Or any diet for that matter!  Luckily, although my weight has gone up a bit, I have not gone over the 140 lb ceiling!  I tried a couple new recipes you may want to try.  The first is Summery Quinoa Pilaf from the Flat Belly Diet Cookbook by Liz Vacciariello.  OK, so it's no longer summer, but it still felt like it when I made this dish!  It was light and refreshing!

The other recipe was Mediterranean-Style Turkey Scaloppini (omitting the olives!!) from a pamphlet I received in the mail from Ontario Turkey.  The topping was delicious and I even used the left overs to put on top of nachos for a healthy snack the next day!! 

Last week I had that one month blood pressure check-up.  I walked in telling the nurse (Executioner) that it was going to be high and told her about dad's heart attack/surgery and the other stress I was under.  Turns out it wasn't so bad!  My blood pressure was 130/88.  She's still concerned about the bottom number and I have to go back in a couple of weeks to check it again.  And now I feel like a blubbering fool, because again I started sobbing during the appointment.  She told me that my dad was going to be OK, that he would be even better now than he was before and I believe her.  I came to realize that she is not the Executioner - only I can be the Executioner of my own fate.  Rather, she is more of a Pacifier - as she listened to me cry, gave me a sincere hug and left me with a feeling of peace and hope of better things to come!

Yesterday after a long hiatus of monthly measurements at Curves (I was hoping to get my weight down lower than the last record), I realized that I needed to just bite the bullet and be honest with myself and others about what's going on.  So, the gist of it is that I am currently 138 lbs.  There I've said it.  Now this could be due to the Timmies but also due to the fact that I took on a temporary job for a month, and after much deliberation decided to take on Scrap Cancer again -so I was unable to find the time to get to Curves.  Yes, I broke the habit for the month of October after a full year of making at least 3 visits per week.  One day I dropped my keys and my Curves tag broke in half.  I think it was a sign that I had broken a healthy habit.  I taped the tag back together, and after another couple of weeks of missing the gym, I noticed the half had fallen off again.  OK, now this really was a sign!  And I verbally replied to the remains of said tag, "I know, I know, I know - I need to get back to Curves!!!  I haven't forgotten!".  Moral of the story is, I am back on track again!! 

Remember my earlier post about the serenity I felt while paddle boarding around the lake at the cottage this summer?  Well, now I can experience that more often (weather pending!) as when I came home from seeing my dad in the hospital the night we came home from Ireland, there was my very own paddle board waiting for me - a gift from all my family!

While all these events were going on I came across the Serenity Prayer in a book I was reading and it really struck home.  There are things I can change such as my weight, blood pressure (to an extent), exercise and eating habits, enjoying more Colin Firth flicks etc., etc..  But there are things I cannot change, namely genetics - my DNA, and unfortunately my genetics have me predisposed to heart disease and diabetes.  That being said, I am even more determined to fight this so my kids learn what a healthy lifestyle is and reduce their risk for heart attack and disease!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some Colin Firth to catch up on!!!  I think a little, "When Did You Last See Your Father?" is in order for this evening!